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Hello Apr. 23rd, 2009 @ 03:06 pm
chix0r110685
hello everyone, i am new here. I have been in a relationship for 2 and 1/2 years now. I know I'm not the only one with this issue. My boyfriend is pretty much very addicted to video games and the internet. It honestly seems like he would much rather spend time on the computer, than spend it with me and his 4 month old son. I know he loves us, he just doesn't really show it all too well. I also just feel like his mother a lot of the times. I have to remember when his credit card bills are due, because he isn't responsible enough to remember that himself. I clean the house, just for him to come home and wreck it. I love him so very deeply, but part of me knows i deserve way better. I clean the house, take care of the baby and work part time, while he works during the day and when he's home 75% of the time is spent on his computer. I feel so unappreciated and most of the time lonely. Has anyone else ever felt like that? For example, the other night, i was cleaning after giving the baby a bath, putting him to bed and such. my boyfriend says hun, you look run down, why don't you take a break? I said things have to get done, because the house looks like crap. I asked, you want to help? He said nope, and went back on his computer. I never get told thank you for cleaning, thank you for anything I do. I just don't know how much more I can take, or how many more nights I can spend on the couch alone watching tv, while he's playing some online game. I hope I don't sound selfish, b/c I am not trying to come off that way. Just venting. I was married once before, and things did not go or end well at all. Now my boyfriend is talking about marriage, and I'm afraid I will make the same mistake again. Anyone else have a boyfriend that acts this way? any advice as to how you get thru it?
Current Mood: anxiousanxious

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need help Jan. 28th, 2008 @ 11:26 pm
marriedat19

god do I need help. I have only been married a year, when we got married, I know a large part of it was just because I was pregnant. I thought it would be okay though, I was in love with my husband, he was nice and sweet and handsome and funny, I knew we had issues and it would take work but he just doesn't seem to want to put in any effort. We only ever talk anymore after we have sex and that only happens once a month maybe. I don't want to end up like my parents, my head just says leave him now he is not the man you married, but my heart says I need to try to work it out. After the baby was born he went crazy, got mean, got stupid. I finally worked my way back to myself again after RM was born and now I just don't know what to do. Even his family can see the change in him. I loved my husband, I just hate who he is now. Every time I bring up marriage counseling he asks me why we need it. If I give him the reasons he tells me well YOU can go if YOU think YOU need it. What is that suppost to mean? How can I do marriage counselling by myself? I am becoming a secret chain smoker, I am stressed, and I am slowly going crazy. Need help please! I just need someone to talk to, someone who might have gone through this before. I refuse to be married to someone I hate, I refuse to turn into my parents, but I just don't know what to do. Its like he is in denial. So far as he is concerned there is nothing wrong, even when I point things out like the lack of conversation, or even the lack of sex which you think would somewhat upset him all I get is a non commital grunt. All he wants to do is play video games and be left alone. I am going to take his xbox and throw it out a damn window. I need a ciggarette.

Current Mood: distresseddistressed

Diary of a mad black women!!!! Nov. 3rd, 2006 @ 03:13 pm
ineedhelp504
hi everyone!!! I'm new here and ive been married 1 and a half. Boy do i have drama!!! I honestky dont know what to do my heart says leave his ass. But my mind says he's your husbandf and you have to stick it out. But when is enough enough. I just need someone to talk to that can understand where i'm comming from. I'm tired and i just dont want to fight. Its to the point i'm trying to get as much as i can from him just so that i can leave him. What should i do??
Current Mood: confusedconfused

shitty husband but i love him FUK May. 26th, 2006 @ 03:37 am
sweet_insanity1
Hey everyone! Im new to this thing so its kinda wierd writing to people i dont know but im at my breaking point! I love this man with all my heart but he is sooo stupid! He's trying impress me, trying to make up for shit he's done to me in the past, cheating, lying etc, the whole works, and he goes and gets drunk and calls me and leaves a messed up message on my voice mail. and another time writes me a letter e-mail and i cant understand what he says on it. and he says hes sorry he sorry and hes never gana drink again, blah blah blah. Ive heard that before nothing knew. Neways, to know the whole scoop, go to my journal and see more, i need some help, some GOOD advice. Everybody tells me to leave him, my family hates him, but i see good in him. and I love him to death, the fauther of my baby. Someone talk to me.... I cant talk to my family. Nore my friends.. they all want to beat his a**.

I understand why..
and i know whats best...

but how do i get over it?
i dont want it over.
Current Location: work
Current Mood: tiredtired
Other entries
» (No Subject)
This is not REALLY "related" to the subject of this forum, but I wanted to get a true "cross-section" of opinions on my dilemma.

My current 'dilemma'...Collapse )
So, anyways... I would appreciate EVERYONE'S opinion (whether you're with me or not) on this one. I'm looking at making a decision in the next week or two.

Thanks to everyone! Have a great day no matter what you're doing... and be cool. ;)
Harley
» rant about my husband
I know this is probably wrong, but I am so furious with my husband. He is just so infuriating. Everyday I try to be kinder and softer and he pushes the line a little further. I ask him to do so little and when I do ask it is because I cannot physically do whatever I have asked of him, like taking my oldest to youth group on Sunday while I am at work. I know our lives are a bit chaotic right now with the activities the kids have going plus work and school stuff and then there is my school as well. I find myself working all the time and not getting any help. He says he will help out, but his solution is to bully the kids into doing whatever he is supposed to do. This past weekend he refused to take Kaley to youth group because he was busy sleeping on the couch in front of the TV (which he had already been busy at for four hours!) I have come to the conclusion that when I am not home my kids are basically on their own. You add this crap to the fact that he doesn't act like he likes any of us, has occasionally bruised our middle son to get him "under control", has no desire to have a sex life and whines constantly for material things and or money that is beyond our means and I realize I don't even want this marriage anymore and literally keep counting the days until I can support myself and the kids without his sorry ass!!!!

He is lousy as a husband, but he is a failure as a father. Neither of my older kids actually believes he really cares for and loves them. My youngest probably still thinks so, but won't be deluded so easily before too long. If he didn't want kids he should have told me and then done something about it to make sure he didn't. I don't regret having the children because they are my life, but I wish I had given them a better father. He lets them down in some way everyday and in big ways often......ugh. I wish I had a proper answer. I wish I had planned and thought of all these possibilities before it was this bad. About this Entry
» venting about my chump
My father and step-mom invited us all over for dinner last night. Nothing fancy, just a nice homecooked meal and visiting. They rarely see me anymore and they haven't seen the grand kids in a while either.

So I call live-in boyfriend ( Bus) to tell him and he gets all bent out of shape because he was "Planning" on trying to find a sliver of "us" time that evening. In other words he wanted to have sex. (I won't get into the snarky things I could say about this subject as I had tried to get in a little adult time that very morning... and all he did was lay there and enjoy the attention and then act offended when 30 mins later I told him I was disappointed that I had to get up and get to work as he just basically laid there with a hard on and wasted our precious little time.)

ANYWAYS...

So I inform him of the dinner plans and let him know when we are to arrive.

I get home, none of the kids have been told we are going to gramas for dinner and he is lying down in bed. So I make the announcement, everyone whoops with joy and scatters off to find their shoes and such.

I go into the bedroom and ask Bus if he is ready to go to which he replys : No, i'm not going".

WTF? Maybe he's sick?? So I ask why not? His repsonse" I don't want to be over there all night".

I don't understand why he is being an asshole.

They treat him like royalty when he's there... in fact my step-mom made a HUGE batch of Nordi bars and a pan of Brownies just because he was coming to dinner and he has told her repeatedly how much he loves her sweets.

Since I have met him I think i've had dinner over at my parents house maybe 4 times. They only live 15 mins away. In all those visits we have never stayed later than 10pm. (oh noes!!! 3 hours at my parents... the pain!)

My step mom treats his kid just like she treats Kelsy and is constantly doing nice things for her.

My Dad is social and talks about fishing and mechanical things with Bus, things that they both enjoy. hell my Dad pays more attentino to Bus than he does to me! :)

So What the fuck... My parents ask us over for dinner and make special effort just for him and he fucking snubbs them?? For no reason?

You know what.. Fuck him! I draw the line at that... treat me poorly and I will take it for awhile, make excuses, whatever... but don't you god damn snub my family. They have been nothing but nice to him!

My family isn't perfect, but they are NOT hard to be around. It's not a chore to visit with them for a few hours. I would gladly visit with his family without batting an eye. I certainly wouldn't decline a request for a visit!

I mean HOW FUCKING RUDE!

Just yesterady he was on his "lets get married" soapbox again... you know what...no fucking way dude... 1/2 the time you act an ass at home and now you're gonna act an ass to my family??? Hell no I'm not marrying your sorry, uneducated, under-employed, skinny, childish, mooching ass!!!! FUCK YOU DUDE. And count yourself lucky i didn't throw your shit to the curb for snubbing my family, you will likely not be so luck the next time.
» Sorry to plug...
Celebrate Valentine's Day the fun way this year! Come join whatudo2havesex!
» Bad Boyfriend!
Thankfully we're not married, but have lived together for the past 2&1/2 yrs so parting will not be as difficult as some of you poor ladies. What do you do/think/say when it seems your significant other would rather 'romance' his friends than you. By this I mean, tonight he is playing a gig and told me they couldn't get a room at a hotel so he was staying at his managers place and it would be easier if I just stayed home. Well, I just found out they've organised hotel rooms etc begging the question of Why i was told not to come???
Last night, G. (significant other) went to an art show, didn't realise at first that it was an art show so said I wouldn't like it. But did the bastard think to call when he got there and realised that it was an art show so I could haul my ass there and have a good night too? No! of course, I had to spend another lonely night at home waiting for him.
I'm so sick of it. Just where should the boundaries of 'love' end?
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